For most of my life, up until now, I thought I had my life completely planned out. I’m one of those people who like to always have a plan. I can deviate from the plan if need be, but I’m not exactly happy about it. We are all asked the question as a kid, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” And most of us give crazy answers or an answer that we rarely stick with. There, of course, are those few that stick with what they first said. I…was not one of those kids. I wanted to be an astronaut, veterinarian, professional dancer, etc. It kept changing, which was okay, because I was a kid. I still had a lot of time to figure it out. When you get to college, that’s a whole other ballpark…
In college, it’s as if people want you to know exactly what you want to do with your life. Which, is why I started freaking out when I realized I didn’t want to do what I was on track for anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still love IST, it’s just that I don’t want to do that for the rest of my life. There is so much more out in the world that I want to do, and I just don’t want to do that forever. Going on that trip to Texas for spring break helped open my eyes even more than last year’s trip to LA. If you haven’t read either of those posts, check them here (Texas) and here (LA). That Texas trip made me realize I don’t want to work in some corporate machine or even a start-up company. I want nothing to do with that.
I had felt trapped because, for one, I’m in a scholarship program designed to help minorities succeed in STEM and go to graduate school. Since my dreams keep changing, I’m not even sure if I want to go to graduate school. (Shhh don’t tell my program advisors!!) I decided that I would finish out my four years here. And, my first job will probably be something in IST, but that’s about it. Maybe down the line, I might decide that I want to go to graduate school. Don’t hold your breathe though…
And secondly, I didn’t want to disappoint my parents. They have sacrificed so much for me to have a good, successful life and I don’t want to mess that up. When I told them, they definitely took it better than I thought they would. Of course, I don’t know what they really think, but I hope they are just proud that I’m taking the initiative to not hate my life haha.
I’ve loved writing and telling stories for as long as I can remember. If you knew me more than I knew myself, you might realize that I’ve wanted to do something like this my entire life. I was meant to write! And as to what form that came in, that’s another story. I’m not even sure how I got so hooked on computers. I think I’m just good at it, so that translated in wanting a job with them. I realized now that I thrive off new experiences. Going places and sharing what I did is something that really brings me joy. It’s clearly not going to be easy, but I’m going to run with this. Now, I just need to see how far I can carry myself.
My point to all this is, you may have a plan for your life, but it doesn’t always work out that way. You may come across an experience that may change everything you thought about your life…and that’s okay. It’s scary, trust me, I know. But don’t worry, it will all work out eventually. As long as you are putting in work to make it happen, you’ll get that break you were looking for. If you believe in God (like I do) or another religion, you’ll believe that he (or whatever) has a plan for you and as long as you stay positive and on top of everything, it will definitively work out. If you don’t believe in anything, believe that the universe has your back. After all, the more you put out there, the more you’ll get back in return.